zombies and miller light

this year has been far from a typical christmas. far from anything normal i have ever had...

last night i went to see I AM LEGEND. good movie. except for the fact i learned it was about zombies way too far into it. i really have a hate towards zombies. then afterwards, the group of us went to Ale House, and thats how i spent my christmas eve. zombies and beer. strange.

do i miss being home? of course. but not enough to actually desire to be home right now. i think im finally scared. i am legitimately scared about coming home. once you've been gone soo long it becomes easier to just...stay gone.

everything about home is beginning to feel foreign. the people. the places. everything. how easy it would be to just stay out here. continue life. continue this part of my life. im different. sometimes i dont even recognize myself.



only 10 days until life starts over again

waste the day where the palm trees sway

waste the day where the palm trees sway
Originally uploaded by loveunfailing

less than two weeks.

i dont know if im ready to give up the sunshine and constant summertime

disney lovin

23rd- 5:45pm-1:15am
24th- off
25th- 7:15pm-1:15am
26th- 10:15am-9:15pm
27th- 12:45pm-1:15am
28th- 1:15pm-1:15am
29th- 12:45pm-1:15am

total that up...its 60 hours.

if i survive this holiday, you guys will see me january 4th. if not...happy holidays.

spread the sharing

we all sit on the internet far more than we should.


and that is why i am encouraging you to check out spread the sharing.


im sure you have a story you can tell to help give a meal away.


<3

i wish life had a "turn to clear vision" knob. how easy would that be. instead of walking around in a cloud of what to do. life is funny. sometimes i feel like i have it all together, and nothing could bring me down. but other times i feel like i am a mess and i have no clue even what im doing. today is one of those WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING days.

im learning how much God is in control of things. which is good. cause i am SOO not. Right now. the only place i really want to be is downtown santa cruz. at lulu's. just sitting. just being me. since i've been out here. i feel like i've lost who i really am. the core of me. and as much as i feel like i am having a zoolander moment (who am i?) i know who i am. i just have not been fully true to myself.

i was reading in isaiah this morning and i came across a verse i had read this summer...

then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. (Isaiah 58:9)

i realized how powerful the verse is. i will cry out, and he will be there...no matter where i am. discovering who God is and how he works in my life has been a passion of mine this year. i have literally seen him work, and move, and change my own heart.

so even though my vision is blurry right now. i have hope. i know that its a phase, and i know that God will pull me through. in fact. its almost a blessing, because its having me rely on him in a whole new way.

i need you like a heart needs a beat

"What more can be said, what greater case could be made than this: to find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart"

Waking the Dead
John Eldredge

leg cramp

last night i slept the best i have in a long time. i mean to tell you i fell asleep by one...and would not have woken up until 9:09 (which is my alarm)

buuuuut.

i got a charlie horse in my freaking leg. sooo bad i shot strait up out of bed. it was a miserable pain. the first thing that i thought of is how loud i was going to scream...and then how the hell do i get this knot out.

i could feel my muscle twitching, and tightening. oooh awful. i had to just stretch it out...but it was sooo painful. you have nooo idea.

i blame it on working 12 hour shifts with minimal breaks and only time to sleep between my next 12 hour shift. holy crap. i have never worked this hard/long in my life. and i have had some pretty miserable jobs before.

thank goodness its december.

and the countdown is 35 days