so i've got a lot to say...maybe you should listen

new blog <3

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:18:00 +0000

goodbye old blog.

hello new blog.

http://thegoodlife07.blogspot.com/

thats where you'll be able to find me.

"its always better when we're together"

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:22:00 +0000

does life get any more sweet than this?

better than ice cream on a hot day.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 06:05:00 +0000

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it!

for far too long

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 05:38:00 +0000

for far too long, i have carried this indescribable weight on my shoulders. i have prayed and prayed and prayed, and i thought my pride was just getting in the way of seeing the "big picture"

only to find out that...i do see the big picture. i really do.

i will never understand why people chose to tear me down, and over something so simple that truthfully, does not involve them, even the tiny tiniest bit. i am who i am. he is who he is. and we work, in a wayyy better functioning relationship than most i see supported with open arms and stupid giggles.

i have never felt the least bit guilt, or shame, or doubt in him - i only doubted myself, because others made me feel like i should. and now i get it, that my love for him is not based on status quo, or the hope that he'll fix my problems, its not his religious beliefs, or how sexy he looks in underwear, its not the idea of a double income, or the "perfect" wedding...its this real, conscious love that we have for eachother that is worth it. and i no longer feel like i have to doubt myself.

and though it hurts like hell all of the time that i dont receive the same hooplah from the people who i once looked up to and respected the most, i'm kinda just over it, because i have been carrying this burden for far too long now - so its time to pass the torch. now you can carry the burden of being the person who left me alone, instead of sharing in my joy with me in my adventure of finding love.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:04:00 +0000

I can now blog through text message. Why even own a computer? My phone does everything.

i dont get it...

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 06:12:00 +0000

so. i'm walking up to campus this morning in the rain. (cant afford a parking pass - so i park downtown) and i get up there and i notice that the sprinklers are on.

and then i'm pissed. because A. my tuition has tripled over the last few years B. UNR is in a budget crisis (like the rest of the world) and then, most importantly, C. Nevada is consistently having water issues.

what the piss UNR!!

it made me pretty much livid to see all this useless water being run down the sidewalk and into the gutter, and its not like it didnt rain all flippin night (and all of today) and the worst part being that the lawn maintenance people were just sitting in their little carts just watching the overpour of water.

anyway. hello america - this is the reason we're in this bind! wasteful wasteful people. grr.

Grace 2.0

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:15:00 +0000

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us."

-Anne Lamott

he holds me when i cry.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:30:00 +0000

and nothing feels better than that.

ohhh the hippie in me.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:33:00 +0000

www.couchsurfing.com

is it just me - or does this not make you want to sign up to have strangers come stay on your couch. HAHA. honestly though, i kinda am in love with the idea. I've been looking up places i want to travel - i mean, even within driving distance....saves in hotel prices fa sho.

but - this is coming from the girl who asks people at bus stops if they'd like a ride home.

james says i'll get murdered one day - i say i'm building good karma so it'll protect me. ha.

mayyybe i should ask christy before i sign our lil apt up.

Faith

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 07:23:00 +0000

now what could give a better definition than the Bible itself.

Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

sick huh. loveit.

the sound of worship

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:16:00 +0000

i've been attending a small baptist church the last month or so. this has been quite a change for me. i've learned how hard it is to go to a different church by yourself - but i've also learned the acts of kindness people do when their souls are filled.

i was wholeheartedly prepared to go that first day and sit by myself and observe. even critique. every move. i didnt have high expectations, i figured every church was probably the same. and though i wasnt blown away by kindness from the whole congregation - there was one lady in particular who has truely taken me under her wings this last month and poured love on me.

one thing i have really REALLY enjoyed about this place is that its soo diverse. I have never seen a church with so many different cultural, economical, and age dynamics. I mean to tell you-there is a homeless man who comes every week and sits in the same pew as the old woman and her husband and the latino family. its just...neat.

Last week i got the oppertunity to sit in front of the most beautiful african american women. their voices were incredible. very distinct, with a deep african accent. i started tuning into different people around me, and i was just blown away. it was like an, "ah ha" moment. worship doesnt have to be perfect. it doesnt have to sound perfect. so even though the worship leader forgot some of the lyrics. and even though the drums were off beat, and even though the skill level was no where near Jose, the sound of worship was beautiful.

perfect down to every bite

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 05:31:00 +0000

since we couldnt go to disneyland for v.day - we sweetened things up a bit for our families enjoyment.

its been a fun valentines day none the less. l.a. will have to wait a few weeks.

baby. i adore you.

where did my strength go

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:10:00 +0000

sometimes i feel like superwoman - with super human strength and super human thoughts and super human emotions. words glide from my lips, and i sleep soundly at night.

other times, like tonight - i can practically taste my humanity.

i dont know if i'm strong enough to go into social work anymore. every time i leave my child welfare class my stomach has knots and i end up crying at some point. and being surrounded by people dying doesnt help much either.

it slightly frustrates me at time - i've got a level head, i am passionate, and i am extremely conscious of social interactions and others feelings - so why the heck do i feel my strength draining from my soul?

the good news is, i know where my strength comes from. and i have been challenged these last three weeks to really get deep into the word - and really define who God is. i know my lack of strength is only temporary....

our first fight.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 06:45:00 +0000

i guess we're officially a real couple.

we survived our first fight.

hahaha.

goodnight.

my profound quote of the day.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 22:55:00 +0000

even in the light of Grace - our actions matter

8 weeks

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 07:32:00 +0000

so. i'm in an addictions counseling class, and my teacher had the brilliant idea of having us sign a contract that we're going to give up something for 8 weeks. to help us identify with our clients. makes sense - i mean it really does.

but i cannot think of anything i want to give up in my life. i just gave up my lifelong bad habit of biting my nails about 3 months ago. thats STILL hard some days.

ugh. think. think. think.

i wish i could give up working.

my lost item

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 06:38:00 +0000

i seem to lose you every now and then.
mostly when i want you.
actually when i need you.
is it the thrill of causing me anxiety
that helps you leap
from my shelves to behind my dresser.
or maybe its your sneaky ways
that hides you under the bed.
do you enjoy watching me tear apart every spot
until you're found.

or maybe you just like it on the ground.

oh whatta weekend.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 04:14:00 +0000

new york was a whirl wind.

i am exhausted and have been up since ohhh like 1 am.

lovely.

goodnight kids.

airport blues

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:25:00 +0000

i dont like airports. they make me cry. no matter if i'm coming or going my airport emotions are whacky. i hate leaving the person who drops you off...and i hate seeing others leave their loved ones too. i dont know why i have such negative emotions - it should be that of excitement, newness, and quite a thrill.

i just see empty faces and blank stares.

one guy is currently yelling on his way hip iphone about how this "economic crisis" will only cause him to rise to the top becoming a powerhouse (gag me - have some compassion for those who suffer)

another girl, much like me, is sitting blogging (probably about the egg above)

this gay guy on the phone is also talking rather loudly about how he cant wait to find some "gay bitches" wherever he's going. hahaha. ohhh boy.

my flight to pheonix was pretty amazing. i love when you sit by people who are radically like you - in the way that they'll talk to strangers and indulge their life story. the guy worked with me - at one time - neither of us knew it of course. tooooo funny.

anyway. 2 hours left in this big bad layover - and then i am in the bigggg apple! unbelieveable, i cant even grasp it.

welcome 2009.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:47:00 +0000

So. not having internet blows. but im getting it january 6th. holler.

christmas was lovely. it was nice to spend time with both my family and james.

new years was fun too. we went to northstar for james birthday, and fireworks and all that jazz. here are some lovely pictures. i suggest going next year. it was a blast.

and i have to say...we've been "seeing" eachother for a whole year now....unbelievable. but i am incredibly lucky. :)

oh and P.S. IM GOING TO NEW YORK NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!

i have no hope

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:03:00 +0000

more than 100 people dead.

every time i look at the news my heart just aches.

every time i see previews for these awful creepy movies my mind cringes.

every time i see kids in poverty my body fails me, i become jello.

this week has been nothing but disaster after disaster in my own personal life. nothing...and i mean nothing...is going right. and then i look out past my own obnoxious burdens and i think...nothing is going right in this world.

and the harder i fix my eyes on Jesus, and the tighter i grab to his feet, the harder it is for me to have hope, when i am continually shot down. it should be the opposite right? suffering doesnt end, OR get any easier, even if your heart is alligned.

i really hope O-bizzle is the anti christ. cause im ready.

I got my fingers crossed on a shooting star

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:25:00 +0000

And the same black line that was drawn on you
Was drawn on me
And now it's drawn me in
6th Avenue heartache

the elections are over!

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:40:00 +0000

whats worse than listening to political advertisements all day long?

listening to republicans complain about how obama is now the president.

and listening to democrats boast about all this chaaaange thats comin our way.

lets all do our own part to and contribute to getting over it!

and stop texting me in the middle of the night to say these things. I DONT CARE! (but mostly i just like my sleep)

touring reno

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:12:00 +0000

i lost my first dollar in the casinos. hahaha. My bff from jersey was in town and we did the reno thaaang before we headed to LA for the weekend.

I just dropped her off at the air port, and already i miss her. :(

stupid airports.

just a thought.

nspencer7786@gmail.com (nichole) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 17:50:00 +0000

i think there is something to be said for being called to a higher purpose, to hold yourself above reproach, and presenting yourself in the world but not of it. i think there is also a lot to be said about a woman who holds a gentle and quiet spirit.

and just as i do not see these taking presidence in my own life as often as i would like, i also do not see it in the christian community. Showing christs love through service is great - but it is the actions that you make daily, on your own, that people pay attention to. and its awful to see the stubling blocks that are coming from our own personal selfishness.

just a thougth.